Getting the Woman of Your Dreams / The First Date - Part 2

The First Date - Part 2

Use Your Emotional Intelligence
How do you react when a date doesn’t go as planned? This is directed by your own emotional intelligence (also called “EI” for short). Not to be confused with IQ (your intelligence quotient that you are born with), EI can be developed as you mature.
EI, in its simplest form, is the ability for a person to decipher their own emotions, and understand the emotions of others. If a person has high EI, they are able to use their emotions to process complex thoughts, enhance perception, express themselves more maturely, and more effectively manage themselves and others.
EI is the ability to maintain accurate awareness of your self. EI is also the ability to maintain a keen awareness of other people's verbal and non-verbal thoughts and feelings.
Emotions are often realized through changes in expressed energy. By noticing these changes in yourself and others you will raise your overall awareness and EI.
People with high EI are able to look at a situation from the other person’s point of view. Dealing with a situation when you can see how the other person is feeling helps you handle issues like a mature adult.
Why is this important to your success when dating? Here’s an example:
The woman you have asked out on a date is late meeting you. Although she is usually very punctual, this time she is nearly 45 minutes late. A man with low EI would be angry and make a big fuss, requiring an explanation from his date that of course, will never be adequate. The date won’t go well because he is still stewing and making it an unpleasant time for the both of them.
A man with high EI will be able to understand that sometimes tardiness is unavoidable, and he will know that she feels terrible for being late. He will let her know its okay, and that he is sure that she feels bad about making him wait. He’ll accept her reason, especially because she is usually on time, and move on to enjoy the date.
For a mature and effective relationship, it is important that both people have high EI’s. This will ensure that they have mutual respect for each other, and that both people feel secure in the relationship.
The best way to use EI to your advantage is to tune into her verbal and non-verbal cues on your date. Do some homework before your date by watching your own non-verbal cues. Look at your natural tendencies in interacting with your family, colleagues, or friends. Try asking for feedback from people that will be honest with you. EI is the key to a satisfying, mature, and successful relationship. Investing some time in improving your own EI is well worth it.

Flirting for the Non-Flirtatious
Flirting is a dance of lightly showing you are interested in a woman. It is the first step in getting to know someone. It’s not anything more than that. The outcome of flirting may simply be a new friend, but it could possibility be the beginning of something more.
Review the following do’s and don’ts before your next attempt at flirting:
DO:
Send her a drink from across the room. It’s just a drink. If she looks up and catches your eye and smiles, you might get invited to sit down with her.
Give her genuine compliments. Everyone has good qualities, paying her a compliment will immediately make you more likeable.
Ask for her number if you would like to talk with her again. If you don’t plan to call her, don’t ask for her phone number.

DON’T:
Try to flirt with two women in the same group, you will look desperate.
Use cliché one-liners. Women know them all and think they are cheesy and unimaginative.
Touch her. Some women don’t mind men who like to put their arm around them or touch their shoulders, other women are frightened by it. Gauge her feelings about touching her by moving in a little closer and seeing how she reacts to less personal space. Does she move back? If so, relax and avoid touching until you are more well-acquainted.
Hover, lurk or beg. Acting desperately is a big turn-off to women. Be a little bit unreachable because you will look more confident.
Women are notoriously more skilled at flirting than men are. Be prepared to recognize her flirtatious behavior so that you can return the non-verbal messages she is sending to you, loud and clear. A woman is flirting with you if:
She keeps looking in your direction. Every time you look up is she looking at you? Then she’s probably flirting. Does she look down as soon as she sees you looking at her? Then she’s shy. Go to her and start a conversation. If she smiles at you when you catch her looking, it’s an invitation to talk with her.
She keeps playing with her hair. Some women subconsciously play with their hair when trying to get a man’s attention.
She starts the conversation with you. This means she wants to get to know you better, which is a good sign.
She compliments you. If she tells you that she thinks you are well dressed, are in shape, or any other personal compliment, it’s a strong indication that she’s flirting with you.
You remind her of someone. This might be her attempt to start a conversation.
She touches you. She needs to be the first to take this step, but this is a loud signal that she is flirting.
She laughs at your jokes and seems genuinely interested in things that you say.

Also In This Category:

Getting the Woman of Your Dreams
- Chapter 5: Get A Woman Online
- The Secrets to Your Dating Success - Part 1
- Are You Your Own Best Friend or Enemy?
- Tips for Success When Meeting Women - part 2
- Finding Your Perfect Woman - Introduction
- First Things First - Part 1
- Introduction - How To Get a Women
- Tips for Success When Meeting Women - part 3
- Conclusion
- Body Language:How to Tell If She’s Interested
- Look at Yourself – Know Your Attributes
- Chapter 3: The Ability To Flirt (2)
- Chapter 3: The Ability To Flirt (1)
- Positive Reconstruction of Negative Self-Talk
- The Secrets to Your Dating Success - Part 2

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